Eulogy to Miss Edison.
My sister has to put down her dog today. After going though the death of a beloved cat a little over a year ago, I feel her pain, in the very real sense of the word. It is amazing at times how these four legged creatures come into our lives and fill a void we often don’t even know we had. I know this time will be hard for my sister. While I felt and still feel the loss of our Blue Bengal Cat, there were still three lovely girls to cuddle, pet and purr on my lap. For my sister there was only Edison. This will make dishes, bedding and routine opening and closing of the door all the more evident by their absence.
Edison was there for some of the most trying times of my sister’s life. Walking the dog and stroking her head was on some days had to be the only activity that could seem real. And Edison adored my sister. My sister was her world and could do no wrong. I know that this unconditional and undemanding love was often that one last strand we sometimes find ourselves hanging on to.
Thank you Edison, for your devotion, love and care for my sister. Thank you for being there for her when the rest of us wouldn’t or couldn’t… You have done your job well. Rest in peace.

signs of spring

I haven't blogged because I have just not felt well. Then the feeling of not being well makes me feel depressed which does nothing to aid feeling better...in fact I end up feeling worse. I saw the MD today and we discussed my issues. I ended up with a cortisone injection in an area that has been giving me a lot of discomfort. Hoping this will help for now.

Easter arriving with new snow on the ground did not make for much of a holiday but I was glad to have my son and his significant other over to share a meal and some time together. I was rewarded the next day with a "designer PEEP" from his stepson's basket. It made me smile. As do the birds outside my window. They are in color as they enter into the nest making season and eat the seed that falls on grass now showing some green. I am hopeful for spring and with it new life for the earth and for me.

In the meantime I have added a picture of one close to my heart. Portia, our youngest Bengal cat, is my ever close companion no matter how I feel. The bear, my husband, calls her my familiar, I just call her a furry bundle of love AKA "lap fungus". there is nothing like a warm purring cuddle to make everything seem it will be better soon.

good quotes

Have run into a zillion of late while researching for matierial for the upcoming Prosperity session I am facilitating. Each one is it's own precious gem of wisdom. Some of them really hit home. a good one this morning came out of Sark's "The Bodacious Book of Succulence"- "My life is full of mistakes. They are like pebbles on a good road" by Beatrice Wood. I realized that there was two ways of looking at this statement. One would be that these pebbles are laying around getting hit by tires, kicked up and chipping and cracking windshields resulting in frustration, curses and expense. The other view was of these pebbles joining other pebbles , glued down with the hot tar of love and friendship and tamped down with a huge truck of partnership and acceptance. They are formed and compacted in the long and sturdy road that is life. With each pebble having it's place, we need to realize that this is a one way street. Once we have moved beyond it, there is no real reason why we have to stop, pry the stone from the road to examine it, tarring our fingers in the process. Some times a good life is like a good road. There are lots of pebbles. But if we are lucky, they get mixed with lots of hot tar and molded with steady love and devotion.
It's what I like about good quotes, gives me an opportunity to see my pebbles from a new perspective.

Despair

"gratitude is a homely but effective antidote to dispair". (Julia Cameron) A year ago I would have thought that to be a really hokey thing to say. The practice though has taught me otherwise. When I am most down I find that listing some of the things that I am grateful for is very uplifting. And even more so is to list the things I cherish. After a topsy turvy weekend with one day very up and another very down it is hard to keep a perspective. so I sat down and listed things that were important. Starting with what I cherish. Not in the usual way of course, while sometimes I realize it just seems like the same list, saying it differently helps to change the view.
I cherish my husbands care of me. It gives me wings.
I cherish sun on snow. It makes me smile.
I cherish link Portia and I have. It soothes my soul.
I cherish my mornings writing and reading. It grounds my day.
I am grateful that I am in a situation that I can do this.
I am grateful that I have this new desk and printer.
I am grateful that I am finally learning things I thought I would never absorb.

a small list today, another tomorrow or the next. Each time a new look at old things. Each time I find that my mood goes up a little, my perspective changes. I find that my life is really filled with GOOD things. so many that at times it is not a matter of finding something to write but to narrow it down as to what to write now. And this is the kind of being overwhelmed that is wonderful. I am overwhelmed with good things in my life. From the awesome man that I married , to the friends I can call on, to the cats I "serve", the house that is "home", and a wonderful new car that is nothing like expected when we went shopping. Grateful and cherish are words that try to define feelings that really have no words.
And to have such a level of emotion, well, I am grateful for that.