Despair

"gratitude is a homely but effective antidote to dispair". (Julia Cameron) A year ago I would have thought that to be a really hokey thing to say. The practice though has taught me otherwise. When I am most down I find that listing some of the things that I am grateful for is very uplifting. And even more so is to list the things I cherish. After a topsy turvy weekend with one day very up and another very down it is hard to keep a perspective. so I sat down and listed things that were important. Starting with what I cherish. Not in the usual way of course, while sometimes I realize it just seems like the same list, saying it differently helps to change the view.
I cherish my husbands care of me. It gives me wings.
I cherish sun on snow. It makes me smile.
I cherish link Portia and I have. It soothes my soul.
I cherish my mornings writing and reading. It grounds my day.
I am grateful that I am in a situation that I can do this.
I am grateful that I have this new desk and printer.
I am grateful that I am finally learning things I thought I would never absorb.

a small list today, another tomorrow or the next. Each time a new look at old things. Each time I find that my mood goes up a little, my perspective changes. I find that my life is really filled with GOOD things. so many that at times it is not a matter of finding something to write but to narrow it down as to what to write now. And this is the kind of being overwhelmed that is wonderful. I am overwhelmed with good things in my life. From the awesome man that I married , to the friends I can call on, to the cats I "serve", the house that is "home", and a wonderful new car that is nothing like expected when we went shopping. Grateful and cherish are words that try to define feelings that really have no words.
And to have such a level of emotion, well, I am grateful for that.